I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
