You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
