Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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