Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Someone signed my nipple.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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