Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall

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(231): View more from Michigan

I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.

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(703): View more from Virginia

just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?

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(336): View more from North Carolina

She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me

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(713): View more from Texas

His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.

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(641): View more from Iowa

He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?

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(801): View more from Utah

I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award

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