I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize