the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
