Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
