If that was your dad, he is hot
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
