that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
