I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Drunk is not a location!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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