White coat. Heels.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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