The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
