Kiss
Puke
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize