Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
