She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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