she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
