yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just high enough for therapy.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
