OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I can text with my tongue
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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