Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
