is your mom at the bar?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
