We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize