His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
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