didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
