I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Someone signed my nipple.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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