I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
