Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
