I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
