idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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