i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We had sex on a dog bed..
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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