You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
