I hope mine doesn't look like that
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
