I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just invented taco cereal.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
