so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize