dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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