ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
