I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
