I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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