just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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