He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
