Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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