This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
