Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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