speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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