I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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