What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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