Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The maid of honor just puked.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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