i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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