no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
