I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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