Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
