Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
