Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
