Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
