He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
