You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
