I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
