if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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