does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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