did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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