Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
