The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
