pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
