Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
