I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
