I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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