OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
