wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
