Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
