I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
