Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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