i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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