you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
