forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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