i was born a porn star she said
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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