The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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