You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
