And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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