Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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