hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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