in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
