Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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