i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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