dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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