just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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