why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
