New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
